To write their names in the sand...

.Last year after we lost Ashten, someone kindly directed me to the site, To Write Their Names in the Sand. These lovely people generously make themselves available to families who have lost loved ones {mostly babies}. They write each name in the sand and take pictures for the loved ones to have. It is an amazing ministry, and I am so thankful for them.

They did this for us last year:

{I just realized today that they'd actually done it twice!}

It had been on my mind lately to put in a request for them to write Charlie's name in the sand. I finally got around to doing it yesterday. I was so disappointed to find that they had closed down the requests for the rest of the year {but excited for them because they're about to have a baby}.

I decided to put it out there on Facebook last night; hopefully someone who lives near a beach might be able to do it for me instead.

When I was able to check my email this afternoon, I opened a link to my Facebook, and to my absolute delight and surprise, found this:

Oh.my.wow! I was literally in tears as I sat there looking at it. It is so beautiful. My dear, new friend Chris spent an hour searching online last night for this picture. Turns out that it was actually done by Carly of To Write Their Names in the Sand. I'll probably put in a request later, once they're opened, because my Charlie still deserves to have her name written specifically for her, but I am so overjoyed with this photo.

I went onto their site again today, and found these:

So beautiful.



But I was wondering.....if you live near a beach, or happen to be visiting one soon, would you mind writing my babies names in the sand and snapping a photo for me?? I would be SO forever grateful.

I'd love to gather a good collection of them. It helps to remind me that both Ashten and Charlie have made their mark on this world.

I know they have definitely made a mark on mine.



Let Jesus hold you, Ashten and Charlie, until mommy and daddy can hold you.

Friend Makin Mondays--Thanksgiving!

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Mondays!!
I'm so glad that you're here.


This week, it's all about Thanksgiving.

1. Turkey or Ham?
2. Favorite side dish.
3. Favorite dessert.
4. Black Friday: Are you going or not?
5. If so, what's on the top of your list?
6. Going out of town or staying close to home?
7. Hosting or helping?
8. Name one family tradition at Thanksgiving.
9. What do you do after dinner?
10. What are you most thankful for this year?

.........................................................................................................................

1. Turkey or Ham? Ham!
2. Favorite side dish. Sweet Potatoes!!
3. Favorite dessert. My great grandma's Strawberry Jello dessert with yummy cream cheese
4. Black Friday: Are you going or not? Not sure. Tahner wants to go but I'm kinda lazy :) I may send him with a list lol
5. If so, what's on the top of your list? Tahner wants his own TV, I want a Canon Rebel! And stuff for the girls. Oh ya, and DVD players for the car if we can find em cheap.
6. Going out of town or staying close to home? Actually, we just got to my in-laws in Redding, Ca tonight!
7. Hosting or helping? Helping. :)
8. Name one family tradition at Thanksgiving. My grandpa always reads from the Bible and says a little something. At the in-laws we all go around the table & say what we're thankful for. While I ♥ being up here, I really miss being with my family too.
9. What do you do after dinner? We usually play games, go for a walk, rest, watch movies, plan our attack for Black Friday. And then eat again. :)
10. What are you most thankful for this year? I'm thankful for so many things. I'm so thankful that no matter the situation, in good times or bad, God is right there, seeing me through it all.

.................................................................................................................


Your turn!!







Happy Thanksgiving!!!


Hope your day is wonderful, and truly blessed! May we always stop to take account of all of the many blessings in our lives. My cup runneth over.

Here piggy, piggy....

{That's jam on her face} :)

It's been a pretty long week around this Filkins household. Last week our van was in the shop, twice, so Saylor and I were at home a lot. Basically, we haven't been out much last Thursday.

We headed out twice, but Saylor went to stay at my parents while we ran a couple errands. Once was coincidence because Tahner & I went out on a mini date last Friday. In the middle of the night on Friday, Saylor came down with a fever.

She's had a fever ever since.

I took her to the doctor on Tuesday because she was crying in the middle of the night that her ears hurt.

She has swine flu AND a double ear infection.

They gave her an antibiotic for her ear infections. And nothing for the swine flu. Her doctor said if she was going to have complications, it probably would have happened by now, so she should be okay.

She coughed for what seemed like the entire night last night. And today, she honestly seemed worse. She slept for SEVEN hours today. She's been so out of it. Her eyes were watering so bad, it just ran down her face. Her eyes bothered her so much, that she kept her eyes closed a lot even when she was awake. You should see how puffy her eyes are.

{Daddy was feeding her}

And I'm pretty sure we used an entire box of kleenex today.

I feel so sorry for my little baby. She's so miserable. :(

Crossing my fingers that none of the rest of us get sick!! I've had onions in bowls around the house since Saturday, and today I cut one in half and put it in a jar next to our bed, where Saylor has been sleeping. And my eyes are seriously watering just writing that, lol. So far none of us have shown any symptoms! And I've been with her 24/7. And she drank out of my cup a couple times.



Have any of you or your family had the swine flu? It's basically a hardcore mix of a very bad cold & the flu, in my opinion. What are your thoughts?

Do your ears hang low?

Have you seen that new Dove commercial? The one where all of the different women sing bits of the song, talking about all of the things that make them unique?

If not, here's the clip:




It's really about learning to love yourself. And all of those qualities, features, even quirks, that make us who we are.

And I'm learning to do just that.

When I look in the mirror, more times than not, all of those many things that I don't like about myself just jump out at me. It's so easy to let that be the focus.

But it takes more character to see past, look a little deeper, to appreciate the good qualities that we possess.

And then...........begin to make changes.

And that is what I am starting to do.

I'm not doing a diet. I'm not going to meetings. I'm not taking a pill.

What I am doing is making small, simple changes.

*Drinking more water.
*Drinking less Diet Coke
*Finding the amount of calories I should eat to maintain my current weight, and then creating a healthy deficit.
*Adding in as much exercise as I can throughout the day:
*Squats while I dry my hair
*Crunches while we watch TV at night
*Running around the perimeter of our rug in the living room with Saylor, singing ABC's
*Running out to the mailbox and back
*Tae Bo side exercises while I wait for the shower to warm {yes, sometimes nekid}
*Not eating fast food as much {I haven't had ANY fast food in 6 days. That is good}

It's all about making lifestyle changes.

I realized the other day, I mean really, really realized that what we are teaching our daughters is shaping who they will be as adults. Any weight problems, self image issues, eating habits: we can shape that for better or worse.

And quite frankly, there are some things that have been screaming in my head for change.



I am so incredibly excited. And proud to admit that my ears do hang low. ;)


Here's what I make myself drink before I can have a Diet Coke:

I just finished my 4th one for today!! And I only had 2 Diet Cokes.

Seriously blessed...

I'm a little down tonight. I've been doing really well lately. Coping with the loss. Remembering, but moving forward. I've been feeling content, productive, and blessed.

But for some reason, tonight I kind of turned around and found myself in a valley. All of a sudden I was just overwhelmed with missing. And an aching heart. For a baby that I didn't really even know. I never got a chance. I found myself thinking about how much I missed Charlie. And Ashten. But how can you miss a baby that you've never met? Because I miss what I could have had. I could have had an 8 month old right now. And I could be 14 weeks pregnant.

But I'm not.

And tonight, as I pulled out all of my wonderful Christmas decorations, it all hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked at the porcelain kissing angels that I picked up after the miscarriage at a yard sale. One we named Ashten. One we named Charlie.

I pulled out stockings. Four have initial pins. There should be six.

I pulled out the reindeer that my mom bought at the church last year, in honor of Ashten. And it has his name hanging on a little tag around the neck.

I got sad, wanting to search through my massive bin with all of the Christmas ornaments in it to find the ornament I bought in memory of Ashten last year. But it will have to wait for another night.

I sat down on the couch, and that's when my grief started to overcome me. After awhile, life & children pulled me along through the evening.

For some reason, I realized that I hadn't gotten the mail today, even though I'd meant to about 5 times today. I kept forgetting. When I went out to the mailbox, I was surprised with a big package.

It was an amazing package from my super sweet, very thoughtful friend Lisa, from One Girlie Girl.

What a tremendous blessing. And I'm overwhelmed to the point of tears at just how much it speaks directly to my need. For this day. For this hour. For this very moment. It spoke to all of the thoughts swimming around in my head. Every.single.one.

Isn't it amazing just how much God meets our needs? I'm in awe.

She let me know last week that she was sending a package my way. She knows the pain of such a loss. And she also understands, as anyone who's experienced a loss, that sometimes it's hard when life just moves on. People forget. The world keeps spinning. The sun rises and sets everyday. And yet, you still grieve.

I am so thankful for many of you that also understand this, and have kept in touch, asking how we're doing, saying that you're still thinking, and praying. Your thoughts really mean so very much.

Here are the wonderful things that Lisa sent my way:










The Cord

We are connected, my child and I, by
An invisible cord not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord that connects us 'til birth
This cord can't be seen by any on Earth.

This cord does it's work right from the start.
It binds us together attached to my heart.

I know that it's there though no one can see
The invisible cord from my child to me.

The strength of this cord is hard to describe.
It can't be destroyed it can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord man could create
It withstands the test, can hold any weight.

And though you are gone though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there but no one can see.

It pulls at my heart, I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline as never before.

I am thankful that God connects us this way
A mother and child death can't take it away.

--Author unknown



Thank you so very, very much, Lisa. And thank you for allowing God to direct you. You have touched my heart. And He has spoken to me, and comforted me, through you.

♥ Amber

May I?

via flickr

Hey, to everyone who participated in this week's Friend Makin Mondays. I was wondering if I can have permission to add your recipes to my food blog? I will, of course, link to you, and give credit where it's due!

Get back to me please! I'll add them as I get permission. :)

Didn't know about my food blog yet?

Go check it out!

Amburger: The Fast Foodie


Thanks everyone!! I'm making a yummy dish for dinner tonight, and I'll be sure to post it over there a.s.a.p.!

Friend Makin Mondays--Recipes

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Mondays!

This week, I wanna see if you would share with us one {or more} of your favorite winter recipes!

I don't know about you, but I really enjoy cooking and baking so much more in the fall and winter.

The house feels cozy and warm.

It's cold and chilly outside.

The holiday spirit puts me in the mood to cook warm meals and yummy desserts.

Not to mention all of the extra baking that occurs around the next two holidays due to parties, family gatherings, goodies given as presents, etc.


Matter of fact, I've been enjoying cooking so much more, that I've started a food blog. It's called 'The Fast Foodie'. Go check it out if you're interested!

{All of you other foodies, be sure to link to your food blog in your post, so we can check it out!}

.....................................................

What's your favorite recipe around this time of year?

.....................................................


One of my favorite recipes was passed down to me when I got married. My mother in law made a super sweet recipe book, that she personally designed and then laminated. I cannot tell you how special it is to me.

It has all of Tahner's favorite recipes. It even has a cute picture and story of the time that Tahner made a disaster of a cake for her one Mother's Day. Hey, at least he tried! He's gotten a little better with more bossing coaching from me. :)

..................................................

Ribs & Rice

5 lbs ribs {we use a pork roast instead}
1/2 cup flour
3/4 cup catsup
2 Tbsp vinegar
2 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup sugar
4 Tbsp Soy Sauce
3/4 cup water


~ Roll ribs in flour; place in crock pot. Add onions, salt pepper if desired
~ Mix together all other ingredients in a bowl & pour over meat.
~ Cover & cook on low for 3 hours.
~ Serve with rice.

..................................................

Um...ya...about being an awesome room mom....

{Don't mind the crooked 'v'. It fell off on the way to the car & I slapped it on in a hurry! I did fix it though} :)

Well, I so wish I would have known a few things from the beginning of the year. If I could go back in time to the end of August, I would have made out a little questionnaire to give to the teacher. In it, I would have asked her things such as:

What is your favorite color?
What is your favorite restaurant?
What is your favorite candle scent?
What are your preferences on parties?

Or the reason I really wish I would have given it to her at the beginning of the year:

When is your birthday??

I'm not going to use the miscarriage as an excuse. I've had this nagging feeling over the last couple weeks to ask the teacher when her birthday was. But it was so awkward to ask her. You know?

It was this past Saturday.

What a horrible room mom!! To make myself feel better, I remind myself that the other room mom missed it too. And she's been a room mom several times. BUT she also experienced a loss in the family right around the same time I did. What a pair.

After telling my parents how horrible I felt, and that I never knew how to ask her without feeling dumb, my dad simply said this: "Well, you could have just called the school."

Duh.

Can you believe that that never, ever crossed my mind?

I've decided that I'm just going to make it up by being super the rest of the year. Oh, how I wish I would have made a big deal about her birthday, sending home notes to all of the parents, reminding them, and asking that they at least send her a little card, if not a special gift.

I have a feeling she's going to be getting presents for every major & minor holiday for the rest of this school year.
What? You didn't know that it's a tradition to give gifts for Flag Day??

So Friday night, we went to Target {surprised??} to get something special for the teacher. I really need to ask some of you teachers out there what you love getting as gifts. I tried to think of what I would love to get. You can only have SO many apple/teacher related gifts. :)

This is what we got her:






Red mug from Target {My favorite! Just bought 1 for myself last week}
Peppermint Tea
Hershey Kisses
Cinnamon Candy Yankee Candle
"Love" stickers from the scrapbook section
Peppermint lotion from the $1 section
"To Teach is to Touch A Life Forever" plaque {from my gift stash}
"I Love Third Graders Best of All" pin {from my gift stash}

Maddie did know that red was her favorite color. :)

And you know I so wanted to keep that Cinnamon candle for myself!



So sad that this year I'm learning all the mistakes, and next year the teacher will reap all the benefits. I so love our teacher this year!

Friend Makin Mondays--Candles & Scents

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Mondays!

I'm so glad you're here.

This is the time of year when it just seems natural to bust out all of the candles. It's cold outside. They make our house feel cozy and warm. And they smell so yummy.

I've been burning lots of candles lately. And it got me thinking about some of my very favorite scents.

So I figured maybe we could all share ours.

What are your favorite candles/scents?


Cinnamon--my absolute fave!!

Clean Cotton or Clean Sheets

Macintosh

Pumpkin Spice




Absolute least favorite:

Anything vanilla. Blech!

A conversation with Saylor..

{Me}: Singing along with the radio in the car

{Saylor}: Piet!

{Me}: Still singing

{Saylor}: Piet! Be piet.

{Me}: Did you just tell me to be quiet??

{Saylor}: Yes. (whispering), Shhh, be piet.

{Me}: Why? You don't like my singing?

{Saylor}: No, I'm kying.

{Me}: You're crying?

{Saylor}: Yes, I'm kying.

{Me}: (laughing) Why are you crying?

{Saylor}: I'm naughty.

The things that girl says. She completely cracks me up. She has been saying the funniest things lately. It is hilarious.

Her other recent sayings:

"Mommy thaid stho".
{No idea why. I've only told her that once or twice. But she says it for all kinds of things. It's so funny!}

"Remember?"

Calling her daddy "Tahner", instead of daddy. She'll only call me "A-burn" when prompted. :)

"Porn" for popcorn




Saylor just cracks me up.

Since you're all so wonderful....

I just wanted to ask all of you a favor. This past week, I met a new blog friend named Emma when she commented on one of my blog posts the other day. She has a cute blog called Toddler Awesome. I could tell by her comment that she was going through something, so I popped over to her blog to check in on her.

Emma was almost 9 weeks pregnant when she started showing signs that something was wrong. At the end of this past week, they found out that although she was almost 9 weeks pregnant, the baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. {Just like mine}.

This is such a heartbreaking, horrible thing.

My stomach was literally sick reading about it this morning, because I could literally feel her pain. It is such a sad, just really down right awful thing.

Having the rug swept out from under you is such a horrible feeling.

So, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Can you head over there and share some of your wonderfulness with her? You all were SO wonderful to me. You made a horrible time a little bit easier. You were little rays of sunshine and hope sent by God during such a dark time. Can you help me by bringing just a little bit of sunshine and hope to Emma?

I just think that would be so sweet and awesome. And such a blessing.

Thank you so much friends.

We always knew I had THAT gene..

I went to the doctor this morning to get the results from all of that blood work they did a couple weeks ago. Can I just say, that it's a good thing we have good insurance, because they were SUPER expensive. I mean, like, based on all of the statements I've gotten from the insurance company, it cost like $700 so far. Yowzers!

Okay, the results.

Basically, most everything came back normal. Ha!

He said that I do have one gene abnormality, called MTHFR. lol. <---- What does that look like to you?? We already knew I had that gene. Ha! Sorry if that offends you. I'm just kidding. My mom & I had a good laugh at that one. :)

Apparently, this gene is pretty common in the population, and affects how your body processes amino acids. Basically, I need to take some extra folic acid. Did you know that companies that make prenatal vitamins aren't allowed to put the doseage required for pregnant women?? My doctor told me today that prenatal vitamins are supposed to have 2 mg of folic acid. Pregnant women need 4, according to a website I found. He wants me to have 4 mg, on top of a prenatal vitamin.

I'm now also taking a low dose aspirin every day. I know some women have to take it for something called Factor V, which is a blood thinning problem. He did not say that I have this, but maybe it's just precautionary. ***edited: I thought a friend of mine had Factor V and knew she was taking progesterone and aspirin. She also have MTHFR***

On top of the antibiotic that Tahner and I are supposed to take twice for 2 months.

And the progesterone I am supposed to start taking right before I ovulate. If I get pregnant, I have to take it for the first 12 weeks. If I'm not pregnant, I stop taking it and do it again the next month.

This is quite the change for me, because I'm used to not being on anything at all. Any time I'm asked what kind of medications I'm on, I always say "none". Now, I have tons. It's going to take some getting used to. I have a hard time remembering to take all of the medications, and when.

And that's that! And now we just wait. And hope I get pregnant. And pray that it doesn't take an entire year like last time. God knows the desires of our hearts.

It is such a blessing to have a doctor that is so thoughtful, kind, and proactive. I know you've heard this song from me before, but I really do feel blessed. I just love how God takes care of us, in so many different ways.

I go back to the doctor in 3 months, for a yearly. If I am not pregnant by then, we will reevaluate and he will do some other things. He's hoping that I will be pregnant before then, and it will just become a regular appointment. Me too, brother, me too.

Anyway, this post is probably a jumbled mess. I'm kind of distracted watching the movie "My Life in Ruins". It's really good. You should really watch it.

Thank you all for following me along this journey. {Insert some inspirational quote here}.


:)

♥ More blessings ♥

I've got more wonderful blessings from friends to share.


On Halloween, I got another amazing package in the mail. Most of you know Jen from Tatertots and Jello. If you don't, you should definitely head over there and get acquainted. She was one of the first bloggers that I really became friends with, and I think that was almost a year ago!! I even won one of her lovely giveaways WAY back when. Anyway, she is just one of the sweetest, nicest, most genuine people {I've never met. lol.} And I would say that very same thing if we were friends in real life. I mean it. She is SO nice. And crafty. And fabulous.

She made me this adorable pendant necklace. SO adorable. It's made from a Scrabble piece, and she even used the 'A' initial, just for me. :) My camera was messing up, and for the life of me, I could NOT get a clear picture. Turns out someone messed with *coughSaylorcough* But, it did lead to me taking a lot of pictures of myself, which I haven't done in awhile. Ha!

The necklace says 'Love you a latte'. SO cute!

{It's bright, but I wanted you to see the wording}

And just for fun, here are a few pictures of me trying to get a decent picture with the necklace. So glad I figured out that Saylor had turned off the macro. lol. I'm such a nerd.







A little while back {sorry it's taken so long!} Yaya sent me a wonderful care package in the mail. She has the most wonderful ministry where she sends care packages to families that have lost babies. Upon looking around her blog, I've realized that she herself has had a long struggle with miscarriages and infertility. I know how horrible it's been for the past year for me, and I cannot even what she has been through. But to turn her pain into such a beautiful ministry, is just amazing to me. I would love to be able to do something like this in the future.

Here's a link to the post that she did about the package:

http://www.tearsformybaby.com/2009/10/5-more-care-packages.html

And thanks so much to Shortmama, for referring me to Yaya. What a wonderful friend you are.








And a big, humongous, tremendous, bigger than life, thank you for all of you that have showered me with wonderful blessings over the last few weeks. Your words, prayers, thoughtfulness, love have truly meant the world to me. And I can never convey to you just how much you all mean to me.

Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I wish I could meet each and every one of you in person {if I don't know you already} and give you each a huge hug around the neck. I mean that!!

I ♥ you all so very, very much!

Funky

I'm kind of in a funk.

I want to blog. I want to decorate. I want to comment. I want to be creative, and inspirational, and tutorial, and all kinds of wonderful blogginess.

I really do.

And I think I am all of those things.

Somewhere inside this funk. I really am.

But I just can't muster whatever it is that makes all of these things happen right now.

I'm feeling fine.

I'm on my happy pills. I'm sane and normal. My house is clean. My laundry is all done.

I've been organizing. And cleaning. And vegging. And eating way too much candy.

But I just cannot seem to make things rock.

Last year, I did an entire month of posts about being thankful. This year, while I am oh-s0-very-thankful, I just cannot commit to posting about it every day.

I feel like I cannot keep up with all of the wonderful blogs and bloggers that are on top of it, and cranking out all kinds of wonderful.

I don't want people to stop following me.

I will get out of the funk.

I will continue blogging, and commenting, and being all kinds of creative, inspirational and maybe even tutorial.

So please bare with me.

I'll get out of the funk soon enough.

Promise.

***Edited: Someone actually stopped following my blog after this post, lol. That's evil.***

Friend Makin Mondays--Halloween Candy

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Mondays!

{photo courtesy of Kenz!---her stash to hand out to all the kiddos!}

Oh, you know you ate some. At least a little right? If you didn't, you know you wanted to. Whether you ate it or just drooled over it, what is your favorite Halloween candy?

Mmmmmmm........................good!!!

Luckily, no one usually likes the Almond Joy or Bit-O-Honey, so I get all of those. :)

What about you??

{I promise I'm going to get back to making my rounds this week! My apologies}

The day the wall came down...

{sorry, picture overload!!} :)

{Saylor's room--before}

The time has come. We knew that it was time a couple weeks ago, but kept putting it off as long as we could. It's not easy to take the step and admit that your baby is growing up.

Saylor's been climbing out of her crib for a few months now. At first it was okay, because she only did it every now and again. Then a couple weeks ago, she started crawling out all the time. And then she'd actually climb into her crib. To play. To get things. Whatever.

It got to be too much. We were afraid that she would get hurt. Especially in the middle of the night.

So, on Monday night I asked Tahner if he wanted to help me convert her crib to a daybed. He agreed, and we {reluctantly} got to work. Saylor wasn't even at home; she was playing at her grandma's for the afternoon. I'm not sure if that was easier or harder. Probably easier.

While we were at it, I went ahead and cleaned her room really well. Windexed the shelves on her dressers, updated decorations, got rid of some old toys we didn't need, etc.

Here's her current room. I think it's pretty adorable.

{Saylor's room--after}

When she came home, she was asleep, so we laid her in her bed. When she woke up, I think she was a little confused to see me down in front of her face, and no bars in the way. She was happy & cuddly.

It was clear that didn't quite understand what had occurred until later on after dinner and we came back into her room. It was then that she said, "Heeeeeeeeyyy!!, which was what we predicted she'd say in the beginning.



She ended up loving the new bed, because now she can lay in bed and watch her Princess TV. :) Go figure. The first night, we put the TV on for her to go to bed, because we weren't sure how she'd do. A few minutes later, I went in and she was asleep on the floor.

I woke up to her crying one time that night. When I went in, she had fallen off the bed and onto the floor. I gently scooped her up and wiped her tears. And then I sat on the floor with her, and held her, and kissed her, and rocked her back to sleep. These are the moments I cherish most.

Last night, I told her it was time to go to bed in her new big girl bed. AND that she wasn't going to be watching TV. She was a little irritated, but got over it. She only got up one time after I left her room, and then stayed!!

In the middle of the night last night, we heard one of those cries that made us both jump out of bed from a deep sleep and run in her room. When we got in there, we couldn't find her!! We could not find her, but we could hear her crying! It was the scariest thing!

We quickly realized that she was underneath the bed! Tahner quickly got down there and pulled her out. I have no idea how or why she was under there, but I'm guessing she fell off the bed {we put a comforter & pillow on the floor, just in case} and then she just rolled under there?

Anyhow, my baby is getting older.

So old, in fact, that last night when Tahner wouldn't come help her right away, she told him,
"Come here! Now!"

We looked at each other with surprised faces {and started laughing}.

She knew that she probably shouldn't have said that, and quickly said, "K?, K?" in a super sweet voice.

It was super funny.

Let's make it rock.

Here's a little recap of what's been going on in our lives lately, and a little update on moi.

Our weekend was pretty fun, and pretty long.

Friday night, Tahner had to stay at school for homecoming. He left at 6 am and got home at around 10. Yikes. And as soon as he got home, he sat down and listened to me talk about my day & my feelings for like 20 minutes. Ya. He's sexy.

Shortly after Maddie got home from school, she was picked up by her bestie for a playdate. I was super sad for Saylor. She'd been alone with me for the entire day, and then she had a super fun night ahead of her with me, yet again. I tried to keep her entertained, helping me paint & letting her do playdough. {Her fave!} We're also lucky to see the fireworks from a local high school in the distance when they get a home run during the football game. Lol, just kidding. You'll see why in a minute.

{Saylor loves "fi-works"!!}

Saturday was a pretty busy day. We slept in & took our time getting ready for the day. We met my cousin Nikki and her boys for lunch at a play place so the kids could play outside together. Straight after we all headed to the pumpkin patch to take some pics. On the way there, a woman was broke down in the middle of the road on a very busy street. People were just going around her, and I felt SO badly for her. I told Tahner, if that had been me, I would be praying for some woman to ask her husband to save me. After we passed her, Tahner pulled over and ran back, pushing her SUV {all by himself!!} off around the corner. What a stud. I told Nikki about it when we met up, and then went about our pics.

Here's some of the pics I managed to get of the girls. They were all antsy because they wanted to go down the huge slide.

About 5 minutes after parting ways from the pumpkin patch, Nikki called. Her suburban broke down in the middle of the road on the same busy street!! We rushed over to where she was, with all three boys in the car. Tahner jumped out and pushed her out of the road while the light was green. We all piled into our van {a little illegally} and took them all home. I'm so proud of my handsome hubby.

That night, we had my cousin come babysit the girls and went out to a movie. We saw 'Law Abiding Citizen'. Oh my WOW! That was a really good movie. Super suspenseful, but so good. And don't say that I didn't warn you that it's a little gory at times, but you can get past it. It's worth it. We were even able to grab a bite to eat before heading home.

Sunday. Hmm. Well, it started out okay. I slept until NOON. Yes, I said noon. I'm still sick here. and it was so nice to sleep until noon. Tahner got the girls ready and took them to church, letting me sleep in. Who knew I'd sleep until noon. Anyhow, I got up and got ready real quick because I knew they'd be calling me for lunch. Even though I didn't feel like going, I made myself.

I should have stayed home. I cannot explain how it feels to literally feel like the elephant in the room. It is THE most awkward, most awful feeling. I cannot even explain it. I sat staring at the football game on the television. If you read that statement above, you know that I could care less about sports. {I DO know that it's a touch down, I just don't really care}. I wanted to leave the entire time. I thought about sneaking out, but suffered through the awkwardness & listened to all of the conversations going on around me. Early on, any time I tried to join, I was ignored. Not on purpose, but still.

I came home and climbed in bed. It was SUCH an awful day. I literally wanted to disappear. Even from my own home. I made myself get out of bed, and try to remain as normal as possible. But I was in a horrible mood, and I'm pretty sure I didn't fool any one. Tahner & Saylor took a nap. Maddie called my mom and had her come pick her up. It was not a pleasant day. We tried to salvage it a little by going out for ice cream.

Tahner wanted me to come in and cuddle with him and Saylor before bed. I quickly tried to finish my post for FMM, and by the time I got in there, he was asleep. :(


Today: I made a resolve with myself early on that I was going to WILL myself through the day. I bookmarked some things in my mental to-do list.

I will shower {I do this everyday. I just needed to make myself do it early}
I will finish the laundry
I will empty the dishwasher
I will fill the dishwasher
I will bathe Saylor
I will play with Saylor
I will make it through another day.

My mom called and told me that she'd taken the day off from work to help me with Saylor today. I'm pretty sure she could tell last night that I needed help. I needed support. I needed something. I literally do not know how I could do all of this right now without my mom. She is the only person {besides Tahn} walking with me through the trenches. She & my dad have been a life saver.

We got some bad news {everything's okay} and it put me even lower. We went to lunch, and I mustered any amount of will I had {and prayed for some more} and willed myself out of the hole. I quickly changed my attitude over the next couple hours, and just decided to live my Hannah Montana's mantra: Life's what you make it, so let's make it rock.

My mom wanted to keep Saylor for the afternoon, so I could have some time to myself. I went to the grocery store and came home. I put a call in to my doctor's office because {and this may be TMI} but I've been having a lot of bleeding & clotting. I got a call back shortly after, and we decided that it was probably normal, but that I'd call if it got worse over the next few days. While I had the nurse on the line, I asked her if my doctor could prescribe me a little happy in a box. I'll be getting another call in the morning, hopefully with something mild and helpful. She also gave me some numbers for someone to talk to. I will probably take advantage of that as well.

Carrying on with my Hannah Montana mantra, I decided to get some stuff done in my house. I finished laundry {I mean, I have NO laundry, except what we're wearing now}. I did all the dishes, cleaned the fridge, pantry, organized, cleaned. When Tahner got home, we changed Saylor's crib to a day bed {more on that tomorrow}. I cleaned her entire room & got rid of some stuff. I even made dinner & my parents ate with us when they brought Saylor home.

It ended up being a pretty good day.

Life's what you make it, so let's make it rock.

{Wow, that was a loooong post.}

Friend Makin Mondays

Welcome back to another week of Friend Makin Monday!
This week's topic comes courtesy of Kenz at All the Weigh.



If life were a movie, which movie would you want to live in?

This is a tough one for me. A few cross my mind, but for me what it comes down to is something with a happy ending.

Sorry I'm not more fun this week, but I'm off to spend some much needed time with my prince.



P.S. How many people do you think are going to pick 'Twilight'?? :)

♥ My husband's sexy ♥

My husband's sexy when he rescues women stranded in their cars in the middle of traffic not once, but twice in the same day, pushing them out of harm's way.

My husband's sexy when he holds my cousin's baby so we can take pictures of the kids at the pumpkin patch.

My husband's sexy when he holds me close during a thrilling movie.

My husband's sexy when he's freshly shaven; head, chest, back & face.

My husband's sexy when he takes care of me when I'm sick.

My husband's sexy when he's stubborn & refuses to budge.

My husband's sexy when he rescues us girls from moths.

My husband's sexy when he gets up at 5:30 every day & works hard to provide for our family.

My husband's sexy when he takes me out on a date.

My husband's sexy when he makes me a sandwich & watches The Proposal with me.

My husband's sexy when he gets up in the middle of the night to take Saylor potty.

My husband's sexy when he comes home from a 12+ hour day & listens to me talk about how I'm feeling.

My husband's sexy when he carries my purse for me.

My husband's sexy when he still loves me in my super hott pajama pants & long sleeve shirt.

My husband's sexy when he stays at a school that's an hour commute away b/c he cares so much about his students.

My husband's sexy when he listens to me talk about lovely feminine stuff.

My husband's sexy when he sends me texts saying how much he loves me.

My husband's sexy when he is strong, yet emotional during the hardest times in our lives.

My husband's sexy when he sits with me & keeps me calm before I go into surgery.

My husband's sexy when he worries about me.

My husband's sexy when he takes care of me.

My husband's sexy when he hints that he wants me to write about him saving damsels in distress in my blog.



My husband's sexy.

♥ Blessings ♥

I just wanted to share with you some of the wonderful goodies that we've gotten in the mail so far. You guys are SO sweet. I cannot say it enough---We are so blessed.


At the hospital, my bestie/cousin, Nikki, and hubby Nate brought me the most amazingly beautiful flowers. They came while I was back in pre-op and stayed with Tahner throughout the surgery. They left when they knew that I was okay. Last time I was really sick & throwing up from the anesthesia, and I think they wanted to spare me having to be smiley if I felt miserable. I'm SO thankful that they were there, and stayed with Tahner in the waiting room during the surgery. What a blessing they are to us, all the time.

Love you, Myers family!!

My sweet friend, Liz, from Sugarplum Creations told me shortly after I announced that I was pregnant, that she was going to send me something special as soon as we found out if we were having a little boy or a little girl. So sweet, even just the thought. Once all of this mess happened, she let me know that she was still going to send me a little package.

The other day I was delighted to open the package from her! It had the most wonderful little surprises in it! I apologize now for the poor quality of the pictures. Saylor & I were so excited to enjoy all of the goodies, I had to snap them quickly. :)

{The sweetest card, Ghiradelli chocolates, Aloe socks, Eye cushion, coco-lip balm}
{Beautiful bracelets for the girls}

{Saylor's bracelet}

{The sweetest card!}

{Saylor, modeling Maddie's bracelet & eating chocolate}

{THE coziest socks!}

{Mmmmm..}

Love you, Liz!!

{and family}

My amazing friend, Brittany, sent me this beautiful Willow Tree figurine. He's the 'Angel of Healing'. So sweet of her. Brittany is one of my long time besties, who moved away to Tennessee a few years ago, and now lives with her handsome singer hubby in Florida. We were in each other's weddings. :)

{At my wedding. Yes, we are clothed, lol}

{At her wedding. I was 7 mo pregnant with Saylor---that's ♥}


Love you, Britt!!
{and Jay}



I'll show you more packages & goodies tomorrow!

Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds